AG Family,

Hope all is well. As you can see, the topic is one that might cause some anxiety in a few of you. Writing about it because it has been a tough few days.

Quick synopsis of what happened (and be prepared to laugh I hope). I sport a goatee, and I've had some white hairs creep in on the chin. I guess that's what happens when you're 41.So I came home from work one morning, and found a white hair -yes, just one white hair- creeping up the side of my goatee. Let me repeat it: ONE WHITE HAIR. I went to bed, and of all things, I started to think about dying. I freaked out for a second, but was able to fall asleep.

Fast forward to my drive home from work tonight. I'm on week 2 of my new workout regiment (only 25 minutes a day but no breaks.) My body is still getting use to it, and I know it'll all be worth it come wedding day next year. So, some of my anxiety is caused by my body trying to repair itself. Also, I think I'm finally getting over the lingering effects of the flu and head cold. Anyway, on the drive, I just started to think about death (again). Here I am just thinking about it for absolutely nothing, and it's scaring the crap out of me right now.

It's our destiny to die. But also, it is our destiny to live life to the fullest and enjoy it. I got it, but I guess I have to deal with it tonight.

I did read a couple of Paul's posts regarding death (one was written shortly after his grandfather passed.) In it, he pretty much says what I wrote above, which is to live it up and enjoy the time you have on this earth with family and friends. I'm getting married next year, and a few of my friends who I haven't seen since leaving the military are coming. I just want to enjoy the ride until my time to go to heaven comes (and I hope it's a long ways away.)

If anyone has advice, comments, or words of wisdom, please share them with me. I, along with others who might be struggling with the same thing, will truly appreciate it.

Peace and Calm,
Arturo

Hi Arturo,

I completely get where you are coming from. If I allow myself to think about dying for more than 30 seconds, my heart races, and I get all clammy. I know that death is part of life, and I honestly think living forever would be bad ( assuming everyone else was dying), but that does not make it any easier to think about.

I have 2 kids and I really need to establish some kind of will/living trust, but every time I try to talk seriously about it with my husband, I get too freaked out.

The one thing that can make me feel better is thinking about my grandfather. He was the father figure in my life, and an amazing man. We lost him 16 years ago, but he is still with me every day. So I know that even in death, we live on through the people who love us, and that gives me comfort.

Hang in there.

Shamber