Hi,
I am reaching out to the community for some second opinions as I feel trapped and don't really know what to do.
I've been pretty anxious, ranging from average anxiety to very high anxiety, for this entire year. I am getting to the point where I don't know what to do anymore. I've read book (Claire Weekes most recently), dozens of forums and pages and tried a lot of different things to help lower my anxiety. I did not stick to a lot of those things, I admit but from all the material I read the one way to cure yourself that stands out is accepting the anxiety and moving on with life.
Lately I have been making greater efforts to worry less about all the symptoms of anxiety, both physically and mentally and I feel like I am making progress (very slowly though), but I simply cannot relax completely and except everything my body is doing to me.
I've become very hypochondriac lately and the derealisation is driving me nuts. I'm trying to accept these things too but I always feel like there is something very wrong and keep thinking that all of this stress and worry can't be good for me in the long run, even if I accept my symptoms as nothing but the offspring of anxiety.

I feel like I cannot fully implement all of the advice on acceptance (or at least not yet) because I'm still too stressed and over-sensitized so I thought about getting back on anxiety medication (probably Zoloft). However, I'm not keen on doing that as I don't want to become reliant on anti-anxiety meds and I want to develop the skills to treat my anxiety long term and be able to deal with any setbacks or relapses I might have in the future.

I'm just really worried about my health in general right now, my bruxism has been causing me a lot of jaw pain lately and I cannot get rid of the teeth grinding at night as long as I am stressed and anxious for most of the day.

I'm aware that deep down I am looking for the quick fix that doesn't exist but I feel like I cannot handle this constant battle much longer and just need something to help me calm down until I can start working on my anxiety in a better, more relaxed way. It feels like I'm hitting a brick wall every day right now and simply cannot accept my anxiety and all of it's symptoms for now.

So, what does everyone think? Should I try going for the pills (at least for a while). Is there anything I might have missed out on, on the whole acceptance topic? Is there any other way I could get some relief in order to enable me to better work on my anxiety?

Looking forward to your suggestions,
Sincerely, Martin

Martin:

If it's any consolation, your letter describes my situation perfectly -- teeth grinding being the only exception. Who knows, I may start doing that too. Anxiety seems to be like a sick, twisted version of whack-a-mole, in that once you overcome one of its manifestations, a new one pops up.

If you're not comfortable with daily meds, consider Ativan or Xanax as needed. I have used both and currently use the former. They are potentially addictive, so go easy.

You would likely benefit from talking with a counselor who can guide you through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It's the gold standard in treating panic/anxiety, either with or without meds. Just talking with someone should help you feel better.

Regarding acceptance, I am like you -- not quite there yet. I have sometimes taken the attitude of "Screw it, I'm done fighting this. If something bad is going to happen to me, let it happen already. I'm tired of living in fear." And of course, nothing happens. Stop fighting and try letting go, just like Elsa in Frozen. 😉

One of the best books out there is Reid Wilson's "Don't Panic." Just reading it helps set my mind at ease, as it reminds me I'm not alone and not cracking up. Commit yourself to reading it and following his treatment strategies. http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Panic-Third-Edition-Control/dp/0061582441

Also, as hard as it may be, try not to focus on your symptoms. Get your mind involved in something that focuses its attention away from itself and your body and onto the world around you. Take up a hobby, dive into a home improvement project, etc.

Paul swears by meditation. You can do ten free sessions online at headspace.com. I just finished the first ten sessions and it does seem to help settle me down. FYI, don't sign up for a paid subscription right away. If you wait, they'll offer you three months free as an incentive.

Exercise can be very helpful.

Finally, force yourself to do what you fear. Start with the smaller fears and work your way up. Low self-confidence is a big issue for me, and perhaps for you too.

I hope there's something helpful there. Rest assured you are not alone. The fact that you and I are both still here means we're OK.

Hi,
thank you so much for your replies everyone 🙂

Wanted to post a short update since my last post. After talking on the phone with a good friend of mine for about two hours and getting some of the hypochondria out of the way (she's a med student) I feel a lot better now. She also advised my to take Magnesium and Vitamin B6 supplement for a while since those have a calming effect and they seem to be working. I know this might be only "transitory" calmness but I'm enjoying it for now. It's actually weird feeling calm, it feels unusual 😀

Sarah, as long as the pills work for you and you are happy, it doesn't really matter that you "need" them 🙂 They just never really work for me and I don't like the idea of being reliant on any substance, be it drugs or alcohol or anything along those lines.

Thank you for your tips Larry. I always go against my fears. Every time my anxiety tells me "don't got there, don't to this, don't meet him/her" I'm like "Shut up! I'm doing what I want!" I almost never avoid doing anything because the anxiety tells me so. But where I have a problem facing my fears with, is fears that are not "physical". I'm not afraid of dogs, people, situations, hiking etc. but I am terrified of the intangible, like losing my mind, schizophrenia, loneliness, those kinds of things, and I have no idea how to face fears that are not right up in my face.

Paul, yes I do try different methods and drop them after a while and I'm aware that this is a mistake and that I should make a greater effort. However, I often feel I don't have time. I tried practicing sports every week-day for about a week but my job just doesn't allow me to do that always. I also can't take of time from work right now or work less because I have debts and pills to pay and I'm also saving up for a trip next year. I think that might be part of the issue, I don't really have time for myself as much as I used to and my hob isn't the most enjoyable either (the usual 9 to 5, repeat every day job). I do a lot of sport in the weekend, but that's about it.

I think what would make me stick to the plan would be something that can fit in my schedule and is also fun. I haven't found that one thing yet though. Sports are fun, but I unfortunately don't have as much time for them as I would like to.

Anyway, it seems like I am trying to tackle ALL of my anxiety at once which feels like holding an entire dam back from collapsing with holes showing up everywhere so I should try to take these things one by one. I just need to figure out how to prioritize them since they can be more or less important in different situations.

I postponed the idea of getting back on meds for now because deep deep deep down I can hear that inner voice telling me that I can do it without. And I've done it before, it just feels more challenging this time.

Thank your for your support everyone 🙂